20 Minutes

"We will be arriving shortly at the Penang International Airport. Cabin crew to landing stations."

There has never been a nicer moment for hearing the name of my hometown Penang. Perhaps pilots have a knack for pronouncing locations with such tone that it just hits you, but hey, honestly i know i am just glad to see this patch of land. A patch of land we drifters reach out for, and yet the patch of land we left behind for the seemingly greener pastures abroad...

Glancing out of the aircraft window only to see lines upon lines of coconut trees, I can't help but wonder how could 4 months seemed like an eternity. It is truely a sight to behold for once, or is it a sign of old age... can't believe i am mesmerized by a couple of swaying coconut trees in the wind! (~,^)?

"SQ192, you are cleared for landing..."

Imagining the conversation in the cockpit, I know I AM Home. Finally....

Finally desu ka... perhaps finally is just the word. It had been tough for me for there has never been a four months where i see so many changes in myself. Rises... Falls....Pains... Gains as well as disappointments and hopes ... they were all there. As it is for everyone... it had been a period of trials... God's way of making sure you are 21.

Regrets? It ain't my right to do so. Disappointments? Plenty. But at least it tells me more about what I don't want. Rough as it had been, I am still glad for darkness often highlights the crown jewel of our lifes - true friends. While my fragility and failures are reflected by the many pointless struggles and naive ideals, i managed to continue standing through the strength of my friends. Just like a smile in a world without emotions...
(To all of you, thank you so much. You guys had been my inspiration and hope even though you might not notice it. Near or far, big or trivial ... it made a difference ^^. ~ ya ya... i know i know.. i am not only old... but getting mushy too... uugh!! )

"Welcome to the Penang International Airport..."

Another anouncement brought me back from the train of thoughts caused by the rough landing. Now I know no more accidents might happen as cursed by my housemate (darn u Davin!!! u r lucky nothing happened to me), luckily he sucked at cursing. XD

3 weeks.... some people ask why i even bother to return. 21st Birthday? Free ticket? Maybe ... but the real urge that got me back, is because i have to be. Needing a good and complete rest is just a reason to come home to see my family and more importantly, to sort things out. The many things my irresponsible self left hanging... and the many things i tried to run from.

Another deep first breath of hometown air .... another sigh of uncertainity and uneasiness. Not the usual homecoming excitement perhaps, but rather an anticipation of a future that is frightheningly close.

I am finally ready to do this... and I am just glad to see my mom waving to me behind the glassed door of the arrival hall...