"People come and go, as the sands change when the winds blow..."
It is a saddening fact to realise how many friends had slipped away from my consciousness with each passing day. Sorting through the long list of contacts lying dormant in my phone as i prepare to transfer them to my new phone, I could not help but ache with every browse of another name.
Inevitable? Perhaps. As much as I hope to keep everyone in my heart I know it is only possible to an only extend... Old friends from high school, brothers at the height of friendship are now mirages in my memory. Teachers, ex-housemates, ex-colleagues... so many dimensions... so many timelines, it is always saddening to think of the footprints left behind.. of the many people i treasure but can never always hold...
No doubt... we always have those hi and bye emails, forwards and lingering msn contacts. Facebook and Friendster? all part of our subconscious mind yearning and reaching for each other. Indeed, this is my utmost appreciation for technology to keep humans together, but yet there is still a vast majority out there that are not connected. And reality always dawn with people realizing that they are too 'busy' to be connected, and it is impossible to chat with all 500 contacts on msn.... shameful but its the truth, many a time I go online just to see people's nick names to have a feel of how others are doing in life but at the same time appearing offline .... laughable? perhaps the appearing offline thingy is the most brilliant yet stupid function of msn lol.
Nothing stays constant. Perhaps life will pain me even greater if I am given the ability to exist outside time but thats another story. Many things i come to treasure are components of memories created during my childhood days before life force me upon the path of adulthood. Responsibilities and situations carve my personality as it carved everyone's .... often regrettable but I always find reunions with old friends not as thrilling as i hoped it would be... esp when I have only days to catch up with everyone... So badly out of tune it often makes me wonder what happened in between? What had I missed out?
Still, my mind continues to create new connections and memories with my current circle of friends. Have I chosen to move on like you all did? I can only wonder with each scroll revealing another familiar name... As much as I can understand, I guess this is true... new friends are always a blessing, and old friends? A miracle! And as i thread along this infinitely long struggle of life I am glad i crossed paths with the vast crowd in my heart. Perhaps memories are the gold that makes a poor man rich? or perhaps the randomness of the silk threads of fate are the dominant power here?
*sigh* Whatever the question left unanswered is, i guess i can only treasure all i have at this moment and maybe spin my own web of fateful events for the future. Walking on, no doubt, is my greatest teacher and confuser after all....
4 comments:
we live on and really, tonnes of ppl walk by us. john realized that too. only fraction of memories remain when time elongates itself...the ups, the downs, the traumatic. only those stays, and they are miracles serving to save us when we need the moment of light.
dun be confuse or feel sad over it. as time courses, we live for now. actually, imho, are we not john? we read history, we read biographies n autobiographies. we learn from ppl in the past, and the story which inspires us the most stays. are we not john in a way? we are actually living a longer time span comparing to those ppl who dun read.
with books, we extend our lives immortally long. and being john, we know one thing is true: we treasure, we contribute, and we live.
good luck to whatever that u are doing now, pal. it's my time to fight as well. i better get my arse off the chair and go to the computer barn now. ja na!
i like this bit, "new friends are always a blessing, and old friends a miracle". =) It shows a positive attitude in you towards life, which is good, coz that makes you learn how to be contented in whatever situations you're in..I guess it's something we all have to learn too anyway.. hope you'll have a great week ahead!
so chim.....damn, i dunno wat to write heheh. well, juz 2 let u noe dat i share ur feelings about old frens slipping away...but thats life - we meet new people as we walk down the road, and sooner or later comes a critical point where our free time juz doesnt allow us 2 interact wif each n every1 of them anymore. ..well if u believe in the Force, u can take comfort in d idea dat 1 day we will all become One again....hahaha
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